Happy Saturday, I hope all is good and well!
It has been roughly three months since I have moved in with my boyfriend, and it has been good to say the least. Honestly, I was really worried that our living styles would not align properly, even though we have been together for seven years, and practically went through many life changes together.
In today’s post, I will be talking about my experiences to date – both good and ugly. I will also include a few words of advice (based off my experience) in attempt to help ease your worries of moving in with your significant other, or to help make living with your significant other more doable.
Overall, I felt like our transition was fairly easy and very natural. However, I do not think this is due to the fact that we have been together for so long. I believe that the transition was less complex because 1) we have had experiences with staying together on vacation; 2) we know each other’s lifestyles; and 3) we spent a lot of time planning and collaborating on how we wanted our living arrangements to be like.
For example, my least favorite chore is doing the dishes, and he does not mind doing them. However, we both tend to leave the dishes untouched before the end of the day, which can lead to having more to do in one session. I typically do not mind if the dishes are sitting, but it does make me feel overwhelmed at times. Regardless, we get them done, and he does not mind doing them for me if I feel lazy.
On the flip side, he has not cleaned the bathroom since we have moved in. You may think that this is not a huge issue as you typically do more dishes in the time that you clean the bathroom. However, I feel like I need to clean the bathroom – at least the tub – on a weekly basis. This is due to the fact that Fort Worth has bad water quality in comparison to where our parents live. The water tends to have more calcium in it, which leads to more hard water stains and grimy textures.
Colin and I have been together for seven years, and some people think that we have all “figured it out” when it comes to the topic of relationships; however, that is not the case. We still have disagreements here and there, and although our apartment is lofted in a studio-like manner, we still have a way to make our own space, when needed. Essentially, our apartment does not have any official rooms except for the closet and the bathroom. However, it helps that we have an upstairs area and downstairs area because if we ever need our own space from each other, it can be achieved.
Usually, whenever we need to be separated, it is not due to an argument. Instead, whenever Colin needs time to study without distractions, I will be upstairs doing my thing, and he will be downstairs with his computer, notes, and snacks.
I have had a few moments where I needed some space, or at least tried to have some space. All in all, I can be very emotional and overly sensitive all the time, whereas Colin tends to be silly and a tease. Long story short, instead of confronting him about being upset, I just needed time to cool down and went upstairs instead. But, this did not go over so well. He quickly noticed how upset I was and followed me.
To top it all off, Colin is currently in school and I am still waiting to get accepted. This can be hard at times because he is busy studying and attending review sessions; and I can easily feel lonely. But, I can manage if I keep busy. I understand that he is working hard, and in turn, he is doing very well because of his dedication and diligence.
Regardless, these are small examples of why things are not always picture perfect in our relationship, and that is to be expected – no matter what stage you are in, or how long you have been together with your significant other.
Overall, I am very happy with how we are living, and could not ask for anything else ♡
Here are my few words of wisdom (in attempt to help you in some way):
- Teamwork is Key:
The process of becoming an adult is already challenging and daunting in itself, so when you move in with your S.O., teamwork is necessary. By working together, you can accomplish more and find a common ground with decision making. For example, Colin and I are figuring out cooking and groceries together. He has more experience in the kitchen, but now that we live together, cooking is a joint chore that we enjoy doing.
- Planning is Important:
If you and your S.O. are thinking about moving in together, I believe that some form of planning is essential. By planning things out together, you can find solutions to hard topics – such as money and bills – together. The idea of moving in with your other half is a big commitment, and should not be taken lightly. There are many instances where living together with your S.O., or even your best friend, can cause a rift between your relationship.
- Compromise is Not Always Necessary:
Although I believe that compromise is important, it is not always required. If the act of compromising in a specific situation is stressful, or hard, sometimes, you need to just let it go and let your S.O. win the “battle.” I feel that Colin and I are fairly docile in nature. So, if one person prefers something and the other is indifferent, we just allow that person to make the decision for the both of us.
- Groceries are Not as Expensive as You Think:
While we were planning our move in, Colin was stressed about the idea of grocery shopping and cooking. I think the both of us thought that supporting ourselves would be a lot more challenging and difficult, especially in the beginning. However, although our grocery list can be long, I believe the most expensive purchase was around $120 at Target (this included cleaning supplies, home decor, and groceries). On average, we probably spend between $30 – $60 on groceries, every other week. We also take turns with who pays for groceries. Additionally, due to the fact that we both try to cook and meal prep, we usually do not eat out during the week.
- Personal Space is Essential:
I love Colin with all my heart, but sometimes, I really want to just hit him in the guts 🙂 No matter how long you have been with your other half, you still need your own time and your own space from them. There are many instances where we will go home to our parents for the weekend, and just do our own thing without really checking up on the other person. There are also times where we will be home together, and I am just chilling upstairs, while he is watching his favorite TV shows downstairs. Either way, although you live together, you do not have to do everything together.
Hopefully this was little insightful, and somewhat helpful, for those who were wondering what it is like to live with your significant other. This post was suppose to go up three weeks ago, but I was being extremely lazy and was not wanting to put a lot of effort into scheduling this post. Regardless, I am glad that I was able to finally share this piece!
I feel like I am out of my funk now, and I am excited to be inspired again! Thank you so much for tuning in with me, and I will see you in the next one.
With Love, Joslyn